May 5th, 2011 - Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!! =D

I walked into work today, deleriously happy after having soaked in the blistering sunshine during the 20-minute ride from college, feeling energetic and rejuvenated and on an early-summer high. Sang out hellos to the guys on The Line, dropped off my personal affects in the lockers, and then skipped across the Back of the House to take a glance at the deployment sheet (fingers crossed I'm not under Production...)

I was stopped in my tracts by the baker's table taken hostage in a Mexican party theme, complete with nacho chips, taco shells, and bowls of fillings - ground beef, salsa, sour cream, guacamole, refriend beans, cheese, etc.

I've never observed this holiday until today, but, boy, my day shot sky-high as I scooped up some DELICIOUS Mexican food and decided this was a great day to celebrate! =D

I hope everyone else is having such a good day!

On another note, today was the last chapel service for the semester! Tomorrow is my last final!! And in only 6 short days, this chapter of life will close forever into the slot called history. WOW!

Looking ahead to summer and beyond, I really want to take a hold of this blog and revolutionize it a bit =) You can perhaps feel my enthusiasm with the energetic sunshine of summer. So much to do!! But writing has always been my first passion, and I want to try to focus more here.

How about input? I'd love to meet my readers! Really. I know that I have quite a few "silent" readers out there, who follow my posts but don't comment. And I don't want anyone to feel pressured to comment, though I love hearing feedback through the comments, I do want to encourage some participation for the direction of this blog =)

So, step up and say hey! =) Drop me a line at ukrainebaptist4@yahoo.com and let me hear from you! Some questions I'd love to hear answers for are

-How did you hear about this blog?

-What do you like best in the posts?

-Anything you would like to see change?

-Longer, more detailed posts or shorter, more frequent posts?

-Anything I haven't covered that you would like to read about?

-And of course, I'd love to hear about what's going on in your lives for the summer 2011!!!!

So, looking forward to hearing from you all!!

On my front, things are looking crazy busy for this summer. In exactly a week, I'm driving up to Chicago (Pekin) Illinois for two weeks to help my best friend and her fiance get MARRIED!! Woot woot! =) Yup, I'm the maid of honor and it's crazy, but so much fun!

Next, I'm meeting up with my sister at O'Hare and flying to Helsinki, Finland! =) After a quick tour there, it's finally hope to KHARKOV!! And boy, I absolutely cannot wait! Which, actually, this is a very new feeling for me, being the little girl always ready to fly the coop =P Homesick? Haha, yes! I'm finally experiencing it, and have found myself SO GRATEFUL for my wonderful, imperfect but perfectly mine, family! Hopefully, I'll be giving a Bible study with the young ladies of the church, and helping in the deaf church, and the Sunday School, and evangelism!!!!!!

Then the beginning of July will find me hitting the road again, flying to London! =) I love, love, love that city! It's amazing, really. Go visit if you get the chance! From London, I'll return to Oklahoma City...

And the rest of the summer I'll be (Lord willing) happily back at work at Panera Bread, a certified trainer, living oncampus at Heartland. I'm looking into a second job right now to fill in the hours that currently are occupied by studies. And

Please pray with me as I consider several aspirations for the future. Lots of avenues to follow, and the decisions are all weighty. I want God's will for me, and I'm excited to see what He's going to do with my life! It's not all easy. It's not all bright and beautiful. But I'm trusting that, ultimately, it's all a pattern for an exquisite dream that God set into action when he created me. =)

Leaving you with a verse: Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

May 2nd, 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(to me, from me)

Because my bio may say I was born September 8th, but as of yesterday many many years ago =) I was given a second birthday, a new family, and a fresh life! Yes, I've been born again. And that reality makes every day worth living. Because I have someone to live for - God! He's my father, and my friend, and I have his eternal love.

God's love has really been something that I have come to a greater appreciation for during the course of this semester. God's approval on my life, his patience with my shortcomings, his encouragement with my growth to higher peaks in the future. I have an awesome God, and it's really sad today to think that many of the people around me (at work, at the mall, etc.) have lives void of his fulfilling presence. Earthly love has its ups and downs, its thrills and its anguish, its triumph and its failure. But God's love for me? It's perfect. It's never going away. And he only offers me more of it, each day, as much as I would like to claim.

What could be a better inspiration to wake up each day, looking for ways to please him and make him smile that, yupp - I'm his daughter, and yupp - I love him, too!

Over the weekend my college hosted a Southern Gospel Jubilee, during which I heard a very sweet, touching song about Tomorrow. The lyrics were so perfect - Fear not tomorrow, God is already there. He's already plotting the course I will take, he knows each hidden snare. Fear not tomorrow, God is already there. I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand!

I liked that thought that he's already planning out tomorrow, and he's already experiencing everything that he will let me go through. What a thought! This really makes me wonder why I may think I have a right to complain, be frustrated, disappointed, or upset. Can't I just trust God and accept his plot for my life?

Well, it's been a really long semester. =)

At the same time, really short! Time is funny that way.

More recently than not, God has put in my path a young lady with an incredible story. She has been such a help and encouragement to me, in a way I was unexpecting could happen. I have felt very honored that she's opened up her past, and the lessons learned, in order to strengthen my own present & future. I feel sad because our ways are parting.

Today I opened my mailbox, and I found a note with her handwriting. I often laugh because people misspell my name (the masculine, German Noel, rather than the feminine, French Noelle). She seems to be creative - she took my name, and made an acronym of it, perhaps to remind me that my name (who I am) is a perfect plan of God, with a perfect story in His eyes. I was tickled, and thought I'd share:

N - never underestimate your worth to God!

O - only worry about what God can't handle!

E - enjoy the blessings that God sends your way!

L - live for God and life won't be wasted!

L - lean on God and he'll carry you through!

E - every day is a chance to make a difference!

=)

Onto a livelier note,

Has anyone heard of Route 66? It's one of the old highways, as seen in the Disney movie Cars, and it runs through Arcadia, Oklahoma, about forty minutes away from my new college. Well, situated on the side of this old highway is a gas station/local landmark, called POPS.

This over-sized petroleum transfer station has an exaggerated amount of parking space off to the side cut into a green field, and if you go near the lunch or dinner hour - it will be full to the brim with visitors from all over the area. Erected near the entrance, just off the graveled edges of the highway stands a tall metal sculpture of a soda bottle, complete with colossal straw! It is 66 feet tall!! And the walls of the gas station are a story and a half high, sheer glass, lined with miles of shelving. Proudly displayed on all these shelves, visible through the glass for all the cars driving by to see?

Soda bottles!

Literally thousands and thousands of them. Every jeweled color - orange, blue, green, pink, yellow, red, purple, glinting and capturing the artificial lights.

AMAZING!!

For real. =)

Pops is just a gas station that houses a collection of old-fashioned, modern, and imported sodas. There were probably upward of 300 soda brands being sold. I can't even remember them all! Jones, Crush, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Love Potion 49, Leningrad, Fizzy Lizzy, Old Brooklyn, Berghoff Chicago, Dang! That's Good, Nehi, etc. You could pick anything you liked, from hundreds of flavors! It was amazing =) =)

Pops also has a mom-and-pops old-fashioned style cafe, which serves amazing classic American cuisine like an Edmond burger (my choice!) - 1/4 pound beef, sliced hot pastrami, sauteed mushrooms, swiss cheese, bacon, mmmm!!! =) Chili cheese fries, hotdogs with saurkraut, grilled cheese, onion rings, etc. Such a great atmosphere! =)

So for the fun of it, I included the website for Pops. Go check it out! =) Be sure to open the tab "Landmark!" It has all the fun info!

http://route66.com/

On a different note, today is the first day of finals! They will last this week, and that's the end of the academic year... wow...

I hope that this is a good month for all my readers. I hope you see God's love for you. I hope you trust in his steady hand. I believe the biggest lesson God has taught me at Bible college can be simply explained in 3 verses.

1 John 2:8 "...the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth." What a praise! When God brings blessings into my life, and shows me his goodness, and leads me up onto a mountain top.

Job 30:26 "when I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for the light, there came darkness." When Satan attacks, when God sends me through a trial, when the valley is low and the sadness or fear intense. When there seems to be no end.

This semester, God has opened up his key to survive between these two extremes. A balance, I said when I voiced what I was seeking. Balance for my spiritual, emotional, and even physical state.

The answer is in Psalm 139:10, 12. The first, a verse that has long been fiercely dear to me; the latter, a new revelation of God in my life. Because there will always be darkness with the light...

"Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee."

God will never change. In the light. In the darkness. The circumstances, the giddy happiness or excruciating grief, do not influence the character and presence of God. The balance is in trusting in God. A hard thing to do! But the only way.

So with the new month, May, I wanted to share these thoughts with my dear readers. I hope that they will work some difference in someone's life and perhaps be an encouragement. Summer is on the doorstep, and with all the inevitable changes life will soon undergo for everyone, I pray that we will all remember Psalm 139: 10&12

April 18th, 2011

Does it feel like a Thursday to anyone but me?

Odd.

The calendar says Monday, but my little brain is *pretty* convinced it's a Thursday (or Friday!) and the weekend is just a few hours away. Alas... reality is trying to tell me it's not so!

Is everyone ready for a new week? Only 2 weeks left in April! Which means, only 2 weeks left in classes for this SEMESTER! Wow. Two weeks, and then it's over! Well, okay, to be *technical*, after those two weeks we have a week of finals (minor detail) and a week of Conference leading up to the graduation. So, that totals it to 4 weeks till I say goodbye to Oklahoma City for a month of traveling abroad! Yeah!! =)

Although I will be sorry to leave, in a tiny way. Right now it is very beautiful on campus. The huge oak and beech trees have exploded into green, sweeping the manicured lawns and sidewalks with heavy leafy shade. The tulips and pansies are in full bloom. =) It is sunny, and just the right touch of humidity blending with the warmth to make it just *delicious* for a nice stroll or to sit on a bench reading a textbook or the Bible.

In other ways, spring is less than appealing. Tests. Long hours. Little sleep. Atrocious moments with the roommates. Deadlines. Stress. LOTS of stress... And a lot of changes in the making. To be completely honest, I hate spring. It is, by far, my *least favorite* season.

But there is a really neat verse that my little brother Dmitri showed me once, a long time ago. It says "For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; the fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell..."

Is that not the most lovely passage? It is from the Song of Solomon 2:11-13.

The past week has been very difficult, but God is always the same, always good. And I know that even when I can't see the spring, He is still the Creator of all the seasons and will send it in His time.

I hope everyone has been having a good month.

I received some really exciting news at work! Now that I am certified in all the modules across the bakery & cafe, I was selected by my manager to be promoted to a store-wide trainer! WOW!!!!!!!!! This is really quite huge. The other girl selected has been working at PaneraBread for a year. It's incredible that I was chosen among the many other employees. I was stunned when I heard the news, let me tell you, and overcome with God's blessing. It will be a hard road ahead. I go through training and testing starting May 7th (a Saturday) so I would really appreciate some prayers for this new step! I, the new girl, will be not so new much longer... I'll be in charge of officially training and inducting others. Wow. Time is amazing.

P.S. The mint crinkle cookie is no longer being sold at PaneraBread, but has been replaced by the chocolate duet cookie. I prefer the mint crinkle. This is sad. I have considered quitting. But..... maybe I'll stick it out a little bit longer. I hear we're getting a strawberry-poppy seed salad just as soon as the blueberry crop comes in! Yeah! =D

April 11, 2011

I'm afraid that people may have forgotten about my blog. =( I suppose it's my fault for not posting more regularly! I just hope they haven't forgotten about me. Spring is here. My least-favorite season of the year. Sigh. I still feel like the new girl around. So it is difficult to realize that the semester is quickly fading to a close, and I will be filling out papers as a "return student." And I'll no longer be brand-new, I'll be one of the affiliates of Heartland, Panera Bread, Oklahoma City. Wow. It seems incredible. I find myself missing what I had. I don't like change very much at all. But God has been very good to me in this new place. He has given me the most amazing job, a safe and comfortable place to live, food and health, and good grades in my classes. He has also put me in a church with incredible sermons and music that has really helped my spiritual growth! What have I been up to? Not much, I apologize with a small laugh. Everyday I am up before dawn to get ready for my classes, do my chores, and prepare for work. Classes from 7am until 2... and I have 10 minutes to be in my car driving to work, in full uniform. I work 40 hours a week, so I'm there until 10:30 every night, except for WEdnesday nights of course, because I go to church. =) When I do have a few free minutes - and I mean as many as 10 minutes - I find myself curling up anywhere, to just take a baby nap. I am so tired these days, as my body and mind try to keep up with the crazy pace. How has everyone been? I have a few papers due this week, and several big projects. On Friday morning, I am teaching a science class. I'm very apprehensive about this. It's worth a large part of my grade for the semester, and I'm also not very comfortable with my subject and the students, so it will be diffiult. I would please ask some prayer that I can get properly prepared and that God would bless! Well, break is up at work and I"m going back inside to work till close tonight. It's sunny outside, about 80 degrees, and I've been writing this sitting in the sunshine, sipping ice sweet tea and eating an asiago bagel, toasted, glazed over with honey and a dash of nutmeg. =) Mmmm. Working at Panera sure has its perks =) I'm also training a new girl today! Times have definitely changed since I was the newbie wandering around cluelessly. I sure do love my job. I hope everyone has a good day. Please keep in contact! I think of you all fondly.

April 7th, 2011

My COMPUTER IS FIXED!!!!!!!! =D Thanks to my dad and mom, and my best friend, and a person God tossed into my life just recently, I officially have a working computer again!!! So happy!!!!!! =D Expect posts to follow soon! I missed my blog and my readers. H0w is everyone????

March 27, 2011

~SPRING BREAK~

The picture is of my first day of spring break, with my grandparents at the Tucson Airport, where they flew me in to spend the holidays with family.

In retrospect, a very hard year still yields evidence of God's goodness, for which I have to be thankful. Last March, I was sick, frightened, and hospitalized in just the beginning of a rollercoaster of horror. A year later, the world looks different.

Last spring break, my mom and my baby brother Kendon flew from Ukraine to be with me in the hosptial. A year later... they're back again, and we're hanging out in the endless space of The SouthWest with nothing more pressing than fitting in all the laughter.

Although life isn't perfect, there is a sharp contrast between this spring break and last. And I just wanted to say that it's pretty incredible to me right now.

March 4th, 2011

New! At school! And very unhappy....

Why?

Because I hate unjustified expectations! And it seems that life is abounding with them right now. What do I mean?

-You're too quiet

-You're not sociable enough

-You smile too much

-You talk too much

-You don't talk enough

-You should be more fun

-You should calm it down

Etc.

Etc.

Etc.!

Well, although these come at me from every angle in life, I wasn't expecting so much criticism when I came to school. It is impossible to please everyone! And I know that all that matters at the end of the day is that I am pleasing God and myself.

While contiplating what to make my next post on, I came to the realization looking over my NewsFeed on Facebook that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Don't we all feel pressured in life? Categorized? Evaluated? Criticized? I know I'm not alone in having this situation in life. People see you, meet you, hear about you, whatever - and they expect certain things from you. How you should act. How you should sound. What you should care about or be interested in. But we can't perform to everyone's expectations, and often, especially when it is someone we love or someone we look up to, I think we might find ourselves frustrated with trying to change ourselves to please them all.

That end is anger, frustration, bitterness, sadness, etc.

What to do?!?!

"Why are you sitting by yourself?"

"Because I would like some quiet and to focus on the sermon tonight."

The offended look, the judging glance. I expected you to have a different response...

You can shrug it off.

Or try to change to please them.

Or??

Well. That has been somewhat of my puzzlement for many years. How DO I make others happy with who I am, when I feel I have to change in order to do that?

God gave me the answer in a really amazing sermon. Pastor Jason Gaddis is the young new pastor of Southwest Baptist Church, where I now attend at school. He stepped up into position, following in the legacy of a very great and renowned pastor, Sam Davidson. How intimidating!!

He preached a message the God used to speak RIGHT into my soul. "How can I fill Sam Davidson's shoes?!" was the question he struggled with. He knew that so many thousands of church members, college students, and other churches would be looking at him with expectations, judgments, evaluations, criticisms (whether well meant or not). I love the answer that God gave him, because it was the answer I need.

"Jason, what size shoe do you wear?"

"Um... size 10, Lord."

"Jason, what size shoe does Sam Davidson wear?"

"Well, he wears size 13 cowboy boots, Lord."

"Jason, you can never fit into those shoes."

"What am I to do, Lord??!"

"Jason, don't you realize that when I created you, before you were born, I determined what size feet you were going to have? And I knew the life that I was going to put before you. Jason, you will never fit into Sam's shoes because I did not create you to! I created you with your own unique shoe size, and that is where I will be the happiest with you. You can't try and try to fill in someone else's shoes. To try to live up to other people's expectations or desires. You have to be who *I* created you to be, and look to *ME* and then you will be in my will, and I can use you!!"

Wow. This little dialogue as related by Pastor Gaddis touched my heart!!!!

Do I need change? Of course! I will never come to a place where I will stop needing to grow. I am growing and praying that God will change my life to be better for HIM! And God gave me great peace through that sermon. That he created me exactly how he wanted. And he knew that he wasn't going to make me sociable. And he knew that he wasn't going to make me slow-and-steady. And that's okay!! No matter what anyone else thinks or wants! =D

And once I accept this, there is peace. No frustration, anger, hurt, discouragement. PEACE! And God can grow me now. Will he change those things in my life? Possibly. But then it will be HIM changing ME for HIS glory, and not me conforming to other people.

Let me tell you, I am so encouraged right now. Because I know I'm not perfect.... but God didn't create me perfect! He created me as ME and He wants the pleasure of changing me Himself, in His own will, to His own glory and purposes, at His own timing!!

I hope this was a blessing to someone.

I'm not mad at any person as I write this, so I assuredly hope that none of my readers who personally know me will find any reason to take offense. But this was what God put on my heart to share, because I know that I'm not alone.

FILL YOU OWN SHOES!!

And let GOD change you for His own purposes!!!

I hope everyone is doing well. Let me know how you're doing! Spring is almost here! =)

The verse I leave is from Revelation 4:11.

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for THOU has created all things, and for THY PLEASURE they are and were created."

I hope this was a blessing. =)