Monday, January 14, 2013

A Forgotten Pasttime

I suppose writing will always be my solace. During the intense times of happiness, the ability and passion escapes me like any telltale sign of precipitation on a sunny summer day. But in the shallows of life, the words begin to well up in me like a desert oasis filling with rain, brim to overflowing. And so it is today. In the wake of my public breakup with Levi Fowler, the love of my life, I find the hurt and confusion giving birth to literacy. Perhaps it is only when my intellect is truly in touch with my feelings that I have anything to offer to the world of writing. That is surely the case of my one and only serious literary work, The Gothic Girl. I am proud to say that after months of procrastination and intimidation, I wrote a query letter, synopsis, introduction letter, and sent them off to a local publisher. Now the waiting game... the praying time. I have illusions that my work is worth publishing note but I hope that for the message behind the book's sake, it will find a place into the reading selection of American teens.
Life finds me once again facing a new adventure... the road to graduation. The homestretch. The deadly final semester when derailing seems almost inevitable. If I fail to keep a stable, beneficial relationship in my own personal life, I find double determination to persevere in my educational career. In just 129 days, me and 93 other lucky students will be able to walk across the platform of Southwest Baptist Church and throw off our caps forever. Yes, forever. Five years and too many heartbreaks later, my Bible college career will be an accomplishment and not a daily struggle.
But before I can put on my dancing shoes, I have to face student teaching. Soon, soon, soon I will be selected for a Christian school and assigned a class where I will be spending my days observing, learning, and even trying my own hand at teaching high schoolers English, Literature, and the Language Arts. If my advisory teacher and head of education find my efforts satisfactory, I will graduate.
In preparation, my mom took me shopping over Christmas break and we began to plan the first basic step any girl would take before becoming a new teacher- the wardrobe. Hello pencil skirts, peplum blouses, and pastel blazers. Goodbye all the old comforts in the welcome of a new year, a new position, and a new responsibility. Goodbye walking with my ex-boyfriend to classes, taking sick days, going to chapel. Hello leather tote, 6:30am departure shuttle, and the loneliness of a new school. Heaven help me.
I've weeded through my friends list time and time again so that the only people who have access to my personal feed and writing are the people that have demonstrated their love and involvement in my life. I just wanted to say thank you to this small, irreplaceable group of supporters who have endured the ups and downs of my life, especially as of recently. I covet your prayers at this time. I hope that through the trials, I will be able to find the experience God is wanting to teach me. And when that day comes, I hope to share it with you all.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, sweet heart aches. I am sorry for this desert in your life. I know God is there for you and as you write you can hear His still, small voice. Hugs and Prayers!